Tag Archives: mentors


14 Mar

Finally I have found some mentors in my adult life.  They happened to be The Judge, two coaches, and a writer.  Each one has made my life better and has added meaning to what I do and what I want to achieve.  These individuals have given my life structure, provided new ways of thinking, and new ways I can lead my life.  They allow me to make some sense of me; of all the craziness that lives between my ears.  Plus, they have enjoyed spending time with me.

These people have made me feel comfortable in my skin. They game me the strength to keep at who I was and was becoming.  The process of learning is not easy.  There are a lot of bumps on that road.  I will let you know I have suffered my fair share of bumps and turbulence.  My commitment to achieving my goals is strong.  I grin and bear through ridicule and judgement from others; misunderstanding, misinterpretation, pain, sweat, mental anguish, and  anything else you can think of.  Hey, I am still here.  I am still trying to be the best person I can be.

My mentors in my life can be counted on one hand.  They are so very important to me.  I can hear their voices in my head, I can see what they are writing down on sheets of paper for me.  I can feel their eyes piercing through me to get the best out of me.  They know there is more in me trying to get out.  Each of these folks made a connection to me.  They made me feel empowered.  I can be who I am and achieve whatever I want.

One mentor is responsible for allowing me to be me.  Teaching me to free write, to let my emotions come out, find this odd voice that is mine, question reality, question creativity, and know that I am being genuine.  He saw the writer in me, the creativity that lived in my head, and that I was an athlete.  A deadly combo of brains and brawn; something that many girls in my catholic school did not have. He knew that I was aware of my difference among my classmates and he permitted me to embrace it; even through my mini goth/death phase.

Coach.  Yes, coach.  Pushing me to be the best, knowing that I can come back and say I can do it better, I can get faster, stronger, and smarter.  The coaches knowing that I can close my eyes and know how my body moves through space.  I can see part of me moving properly and improperly.  Give me the feedback and I can do it.  Give me the opportunity and I can achieve it.  I am the player who can spend countless hours practicing one skill.  Why?  Because I have the patience and the drive to do so.  Coaches who have been able to see this have been amazed to see what I can do.  What am able to do is see my overall process, I may not be great at it now, but give me 1 month, 6 months, or 1 year.  Hell I will get there, just be patient.  My coaches permit me to be a scholar of the sport; on and off the ice/court.  I have a desire to know.  I may not need it now, but it will come back later.  I have the commitment to sport, the patience, and the respect to allow those who are more knowledgable to shape me to becoming a better player.

Sport has been the one aspect of my life that I have felt the most comfortable with.  I have always excelled playing sports or learning new ones.  I constantly default to my body and its ability to work in space, lift heavy things, or to climb obstacles.  The physicality of sport has allowed me to calm down, sweat it out, and relax.  I move too fast in my mind and the movement of sport permits my body and mind to slow down.  To find calm in moments of my life.

This all leads me back to the person who now influences many parts of my mind.  The writer.  The writer energizes me to pursue a dream of reading, researching, testing, and writing.  Tells me when things are going well or poorly.  Honest and very real.  No sugar.  It just is what it is.  I take responsibility for both negative and positive results.  Here I see the voice emerge from the writer; I want to dive into myself and see how I can pull that strength out of me.  Or just find out if it is in me.  I see the voice in him, the power of it, and what it is able to do.  I am left speechless.

The writer sees that I can play a sport, but challenges me to find my voice.  This is so novel to me.  Funny, novel.. anyways.  I am beginning to feel the power of what I feel through my fingers again.  I am trying ever so slightly to channel the words I am thinking in my head to the keyboard.  Be emotive, be informative, share a story that connects.  In all of this, I can see how writing can lead me to finding myself.  Maybe it is a bunch of mumbo jumbo, but I really don’t care.  The future of me is coming around and well I am really excited to see her.  So, thank you.

In the midst of all of these words from my collection of thoughts, I believe I can say that these people have left major imprints on me.   I want them to know that I think of them everyday.  That their words and actions have made me remember these thoughts.

  • Judge: be who you are, remember the classics, keep writing, and be the athlete you are: Johnny Unitis.
  • Coaches: mold and shape me, make me a better player each time i step out on the ice/court, I wait for every morsel you will share with me.
  • Writer: you are smart, talented, kind, and adored.  You are on course for what you want to go.
Now it is time for me to focus on me to become who I want to be and become.  Am I afraid?  At times.  Will I fail?  Sure I will, but I will pick myself up and try again.  The one thing that each of my mentors have taught me is that I am different and it is ok for me to be who I am.  The scary part is that I am finally starting to accept that being different is my biggest strength.

A great quote from the most talented writer Jack Kerouac

“Here’s to the crazy ones; the misfits; the rebels; the trouble-makers; the round pegs in the square holes; the ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status-quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify, or vilify them. But the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”