Hot & Cold

31 Jan

The past week has been one of the most insane weeks of my life.  I traveled up to Grand Forks, North Dakota to qualify for curling nationals and I had friends come in from Detroit to celebrate a birthday.  Nothing was quiet.  I want to save the food part for a post later this week.  My binge eating and drinking adventure with the cookies was great.  It definitely needs its own story.  So, I’m going to talk curling.

The team I play on qualified for curling nationals in Fargo, North Dakota, but it was a long road to get there.  Not just the drive up; the entire process to that point.  I have mentioned preparation before and goal setting, this time it was survival and persistence.  Moments in which you only have partial control and all you can do is try your best, your hardest, to make something happen.

In the game like in life sometimes you are ahead other times you are behind.  All that matters at the end of the game is what you have done and the end score.  Ok you can throw in some fun too.  I am an intense person.  No doubt about it.  I prepare, I set goals, I am ready.  I also keep in mind that I can only control what I do.  Looking back on my rugby times; I did not have this skill, I just did not get it.  Now I can see a lot more in players and coaches, by their roles, commitment, and overall actions.  I am more willing to accept the range of differences between people.

Curling is interesting because of the variables involved in the game.  It is not like basketball or lacrosse.  It is something that is unique and challenges the mind and the body at the same time.  Some think its lame, but it is a game of skill, memory, strategy, and fitness.  The ice surface is in constant flux due to the sweeping, rocks, people, cooling/heating equipment and even the outdoor weather.  You need to be able to read the ice and read the stones.  You need to be aware.

So what does this blabber all boil down to here?  Shane Falco said it the best “Quicksand.  You’re playing and you think everything is going fine, but then one thing goes wrong and another and another and you try to fight back, but the harder you fight, the deeper you sink. ‘Til you can’t move, can’t breathe, cause you’re in over your head. Like quicksand.”  FEAR.

A deep fear lives in all of us, for me it is failure.  Failure to succeed or to fail to reach certain goals.  Failure of knowing who I really am.  Failure of not realizing my actual potential in something that I commit to.  And if I fail can I rise again like phoenix?  I know I can.  I realize that the road to reaching a dream or a goal can be difficult and filled with many obstacles.  I can only control the choices I make on my path.  If failure comes I accept it no matter how harsh.

About losing.  Losing I hate it, but it happens.  Some losses leave you feeling like you played well versus a tough opponent  and other losses you knew you just stunk up the room.  The feeling I felt 2 years ago was a feeling of failure as I wept into my hands after a game.  Not because I lost the game.  Who cares?!  It was failure.  It was the time I spent organizing and committing to something that I believed that was bigger then me.  That loss made me realize what I failed at and what I was trying to build failed.  The team I wanted failed.  I had friends and I had new enemies after that day, but that failure of my team taught me how to move forward and let go.  That was my first harsh brand in curling.  That became my monkey on my back in detroit.  I knew I could overcome it with practice, silence, and persistence to my personal goals.

Now I have a new team with new team mates.  My curling mom is still my curling mom and I would never trade her for anyone.  The team is made up of 4 women from 4 clubs, from 3 states.  We share a goal of winning and preparing.  We also share the fear of quicksand.  In two weeks we will be in Fargo battling from the bottom to the top.  A cinderella story, an upset waiting to happen, the comeback kids and I know we will be ready.  We have started a journey.  We are going to reach our goals one step at a time.  You better watch out.

Watch the Video on Quicksand from “The Replacements”

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